Raising kids can be very rewarding when nurtured with love and guided with proper discipline. Discipline is a system that needs to be implemented by parents; a set of rules to guide their children on things they must and mustn't do. Below are some ways how to give rewards and punishments to your children.
Parents can give rewards by creating a reward system table indicating hours of the day on the left column and the days of the week on the right. For each hour, the child will put a sticker to the box next to it. A smiley when he is behaving well and a sad face when he is not, then he can get a star when he got all the smiley stickers at the end of that day. This is applicable for toddlers and youngsters.
Other rewards can also be in a form of a treat like ice cream. But parents must be careful that their children will not be dependent on rewards when doing well. Remember that rewards are given when the child is not expecting it as to prevent teaching the child any type of bribery. There is a difference between, "I'll give you ice cream if you behave properly," and "I'm giving you ice cream because you have behaved properly." The second statement is the right way of giving the reward. Avoid giving money to children as a reward as this will likely teach them that they are getting paid for doing well instead of making them feel that they are rewarded because they have done well.
The best form of reward is spending time with the kids like going out to an amusement park or eating out with them. In this way, they are given the impression that you value them because you make time to be with them even how busy you are from work. The Scripture instructs parents in Deuteronomy 11:19 "Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up," that spending time with the children is important in teaching the ways of the Lord.
On the other hand, punishments are given when the child displays disobedience from the system that you have set. One way of giving discipline is time out. This is appropriate for toddlers. The toddler has to stand on the wall or sit on a chair for few minutes corresponding to their age, 3 minutes for 3 years old, 4 minutes for four years old and so on. Before the time out ends, talk to the child and let him understand why he is being punished. Do not punish a toddler for things that are normal at his age like throwing things, spilling liquids, and shouting, since they are still in discoveries and don't know how to properly express their emotions yet. Instead of spanking, explain it warmly to the toddler why it should not be done.
Limit the child from staying too long in front of the television or computer as this would give the child the thought that everything he watches is good. Make sure that you or someone is present to guide him on what is shown on T.V. so he will not imitate bad actions. This will also avoid planting violence, lust, or rebellion to the child's mentality; instead provide a selection of good movies and educational shows that he can watch so you are assured that he is learning pleasant things when you're not around.
The Book of Proverbs talks about giving discipline to our children and the importance of it. Let's take a look on Proverbs 13: 24, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."
The Bible teaches us to use rod in giving discipline. This is also called "spanking". Pastor Rey Clemente has introduced 'spank-y' on his seminars regarding Biblical Parenting. The spank-y is a rubber 6 inches long and 2-3 inches wide and can be bought in hardware stores. He teaches that spanking should be done properly and should be hit only to the butt of a child and not anywhere in the body because the butt is the safest part to spank. And that is true. It is important that you are calm while spanking. Avoid shouting. Do not spank out of anger but out of love because it can bring damage to the child's body and to his heart. Do it inside the room or private place and never spank in front of others. Set a number of spanks for each violation. Proper spanking teaches but incorrect spanking may lead to rebellion. Set rules when spanking.
Spanking is usually given to children ages 3 to 10. Children above 10 years old are less likely to be spanked but rather lovingly admonished. Children above 10 years old and teenagers are looking for more than a reprimand, they are longing for someone that they can look at, to be their model, not only in words but also in action. So parents need to set a good example. When giving punishment to a toddler, do it right there and then. Do not wait until you get home before giving the punishment because children has short term memory and may not understand why you are punishing him when you arrived home.
Always remind the child that he is being punished not because he is bad or has done bad things, but because he is loved and that disobedience has consequences. Avoid using words that may wound his heart like, "You never learn!", "You're always like that.", or "You're stupid!" instead use right words while giving discipline like "I love you but I don't like what you did that's why...", "I know that you are not bad, that's why..." Ask the child why he is being punished and let him answer to help him understand the reason but don't be angry if he answers 'I don't know' (this is a normal answer of most kids), instead calmly explain why you are giving the punishment. And most importantly, pray with the child after giving the punishment so he'll know that disobedience has consequences but your love and acceptance is still there and God is ready to forgive him when he admits his wrongdoing and asks for forgiveness.
Lastly, both parents should be one in giving rewards and punishments so that the child will respect them and not dishonor them because of inconsistency. The Bible also warns the fathers to not exasperate the children instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord which is stated in Ephesians 6:4. Exasperate means to annoy, drive mad, or push them to rebellion. That's why it is important that love must not be removed in giving rewards and punishments to our children. Also, creating a caring, healing, and loving environment in the house that honors God will bring every good thing to follow through.
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/6337364
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